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Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Getting It Together

Let's begin. This year, already sucks. But I'm optimistic.
Hold on, it smells like oil outside- the living room. I get up and close the door.

There is inside (my room) and outside (not my room).
I occasionally leave to outside but it is usually not worth the trip.

Let's hope that this year, outside becomes a good thing.
Let's recap how last year ended:

#1 Boyfriend of 3 years and I split.
#2 My cousin died on Christmas day.
#3 I've been poorly since 3 weeks ago.  
Not only have I been poorly since the beginning of my holiday, but it seems that I will be poorly my ENTIRE holiday. So obviously I've been bedridden. The joy that is my life.

I've been staring at my body in the mirror. I've been unhealthily losing weight. I must be like a 100 lbs (45 kgs) now.  I haven't been that weight since I was 17 maybe, 16. Plus, I still look bloated as hell. Whats wrong with my body?

I've been thinking about the gym. Thinking about, however, doesn't do very much, as I'm still at home, very much not going to the gym. I need to get used to the idea of doing things myself. I've always been quite comfortable with it. So whats stopping me now? I think I just don't fancy leaving the house.

Even going to Barnes & Nobles is such a chore. I don't want to spend money on books. I'm also a terrible book hoarder. But e-books are blah and my phone is constantly out of battery. So... that will just be an unsolved mystery.

I am currently storing away all my photos so my phone will just be an empty shell. I suppose things are just easier that way. Its easier than hiding from it. I don't have to pretend they are not there when they are really not there.

I'm just a bit out of it. Maybe, give me some time. I will be into it.